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Help with school refusal and anxiety

You're not alone.

Half the parents who contact me are trying to help their youngsters with issues like:  

  • Panic attacks, phobias and fear of school (or of being cut off from home and family)

  • Depression - commonest in people who don't have much control of their lives

  • The stress of coping with peer group pressure.

  • Dyslexia - a challenge rather than an illness but a trigger for many other problems if support is poor.

  • Bullying and social exclusion. The world can be a lonely place.

Cartoon showing bullying children laughing at a crying victim

To ease your youngster's stresses, help them to feel

heard, heeded and upheld

  • To make them feel heard be a listening parent! I can't take your place, but if your youngster can tell their story through writing or art (like the bullying pictures above and here) I'd be happy to see it. (Learn more)

  • To make them feel heeded, give them a really big say in how to move forwards. For a start, perhaps you could work as partners in weighing up the advice on this page

  • Help them to feel upheld as individuals, with real responsibility for things that matter

A child feeding a horse through an open window

  • Avoid giving too many lifts, as exercise is therapeutic. Encourage outdoor activities like dog walking, especially where there's an element of responsibility. Sometimes, as in this photo, you can encourage a healthy interplay between indoors and out.

  • There's always the option of home education. Taking away the threat of school could bring some relief and open up a space for healing. Also, teens with exams to consider may well do better studying and sitting privately than as unhappy schoolkids.

An old school photo, some children smiling, one looking anxious

  • School is a pain for one family in seven. It was certainly a pain for me - the worried one in this old school photo. These days, having gained lectureships and success as an author, I offer free non-medical advice for families locked in their own struggle with the Big Bad Bogey of School!                                                                                                

Do Get in Touch - Help is at Hand
Tony D Triggs, educational advisor

I'm glad you want to get in touch. Please start with your name!*

Your email address*

Your message*

For a tailored reply, please may I have the first part of your postcode, and also your youngster's age?

The dyslexia cartoon on this page is from Understanding and Managing Dyslexia for Dummies.

My thanks to the publishers John Wiley and Sons for permission to use it.

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