Bullying and Social Exclusion

Bullying is a scourge, ruining school for some of its victims. The following quotes show the harm and misery it can cause:

I felt unhappy and tormented in every part of my life. I tried to ignore the name-calling but it just got worse. (A 12-year-old)

At break, they pushed Joanne over and kicked her. The worst part was what they threatened to do to her after school. (An alarmed parent)

My 'rough kid' background attracted the bullies at my posh little school. Then after school my 'posh kid' uniform attracted all the estate bullies, too. (My own experience)

Some schools bang the 'no bullying' drum but then act weakly or clumsily when cases occur.

As for social exclusion (felt or real) schools show little awareness of it.

A measured response like the following often brings good results:

A trusted teacher

gently probes the victim's feelings ("being so lonely kills me" etc.)
gathers a group of pupils including any bullies but not the victim
explains the victim’s suffering, possibly using a picture or piece of writing they've done
emphasizes their need to feel happy and safe
welcomes ideas like ‘I’ll walk to school with him’
meets everyone (including the victim) individually after about a week to check on progress.

This approach

confronts the pupils with the full extent of the victim's suffering
sets an example of caring (rather than using force like a bully)
brings out the best in the other pupils, which lowers the status of those who may be acting unkindly
frees victims from the fear of reprisals, since no one is punished.

Additional help

A bullied or excluded youngster may well be prone to anxiety and depression, in which case please click here.

Therapy through self-expression

If your youngster shares their feelings through a picture, poster or poem I'd be happy to see it. I'll always reply and possibly offer a fee for featuring it on this website!

(Click here for more info.)

Artist Meghan Grayson produced this cry from the heart when she was just 15. She's kindly allowed me to include

it here. I hope it inspires you!

To get in touch please use this form.

My postbag is currently swelling as seasonal stresses build up. I always reply but prioritise families in East Anglia.

Tony D Triggs